letting go, letting GOD

爱

2011-01-15T14:48:00.001+08:00

最近(又)看完一部港剧〈女人最痛〉，让我不断思想爱到底是什么。男女主角最后没有在一起，但还是深爱着对方。我想了很久，为什么?

剧中俩人的价值观，理想不同。女的甚至出卖了男的。但是，如果价值观不同，又怎能相爱呢? 我因这部电视剧重新思想爱。

看完这部剧，听了郑秀文的歌〈爱〉，听了3天之久。其中一句真的很贴切。"在爱情里会看到包容和牺牲，也同样可以看到猜疑和欺骗"

在神里，我会继续寻找爱是什么，我也深信真爱是需要等待的。

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2010-09-16T18:48:00.001+08:00

常常覺得很無助。看到朋友有困難，不愉快，我都不知該怎樣安慰她們。我到低有沒有這個恩賜。還在犹豫。是不是怕講錯話所以什么都不說？到低是為什么？

最近發現造成我不愉快的東西都是自己幻想出來的。對方根本沒有這种想法，自己卻胡思亂想。我要學會不亂思考。

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2010-04-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

临考试前又再问自己适不适合读这一课！烦死了！！！

2010-04-08T08:54:00.002+08:00

读了我中文的post，再读英文的，整个没feel！坚持用中文！haha! 离开中文也有一段日子了。

这几天心情很复杂。其实没什么东西，我还是很快乐的过每一天！但是有些事实在是太隐私，在这边也写不出来。等等吧！

anw, 今天可以回家了！yay!!!

2010-03-18T17:57:00.002+08:00

你的话，是真是假，我再也不知道。很难受，真的很难受。你到底几时才会领悟到，我们之间的问题你也要付出责任。说要维持，但一点行动都没有。反而，你全部的一切，都是从其他人口中，或自己的猜测得知的。我还要装着一副不知情得样子，跟你谈话。

2010-03-10T21:45:00.001+08:00

我只想说，我不是双面人，只是有些东西可能说不出口。但朋友之间难免会有误会，有时还是要发泄一下。

2010-03-10T20:53:00.002+08:00

当我正在赶essay时，上fb看到了一些不知道是不是关于我的东西。不知道是不是自己想太多，还是真的有关联。但就是有着不详的预感。是不是要失去两位要好的朋友？我知道我真的应该继续做我的essay，但是有些事情不讲，心里就有不舒服，就不能专心。

当一个平常笑哈哈的人突然在你面前哭，你会怎么样？常常把不开心的事收起来，不跟别人说，觉得有误会但不讲，原来这在友谊里是完全不健康的。迟早这一份友谊会消失，变成回忆。就是因为这个原因，我才觉得陈奕迅的最佳损友超真实。每一份交情都是脆弱的，只要有误会就很可能断掉。唯有互相坦白，才可以把这条线粘回去。

是时候坦白了吗？其实我也很坦白的把我所感觉的说出来。是对方没变，还是我一直想它不可能变。还是他对我所讲的受了伤害？

不要写了。真的要做我的essay了。期待第一次SSM的prayer conference!!!940pm!!!

2009-11-30T12:19:00.002+08:00

有个冲动想给自己一个二十岁的生日礼物，就是去中国短宣。但是真的没有那个勇气去踏出这一步。还是继续祷告吧！

2009-11-05T01:47:00.002+08:00

其实自己一个人真的没有什么不好。至少能反省一下生命中的点点滴滴。

现在已经差不多两点了。我室友和project mates吃supper. 你们一定会问为什么我没有去。我也不知道。健康比较重要？睡眠？到底人生什么才是重要的。那朋友重不重要？有些时候我真的不知道。如果健康和朋友，你们会选哪一个？

我心中很多的怀疑。不知道她们三个出去会讲我坏话吗？疑心很重。进了大学，我觉得我整个人变了。很不认识这个自己。改变是一件好事吗？我真的不知道。很不喜欢疑心重的自己。可能是经过JC时代，对人的信心真的毁了。可能以后，就只有跟教会的人能坦白。在教会才是真正的自己。

好久没有打中文。我可能以后都在这里写中文。无论外界怎么的排次中文和中国人，我会一直坚持下去。因为我深深知道我这坚持是对的，淘神喜悦的。终有一天，我会回到中国，传讲福音。

几天前，我不知为什么突然间觉得我要坚持读我的科系。我知道是神的安排。但就几天前，我真的很肯定，这是我该读的。虽然还看不到有什么前途，但我真的会坚持下去，神的力量何等广大，'nothing is impossible with God.'

2009-09-10T23:33:00.002+08:00

这是一个很容易被遗忘的地方，但当心情不好，往往就会想到这里。本来还蛮像tweet我所有的心声，但因为在facebook可以看得到还是决定不要。

在宿舍已经有4个星期了。说习惯也不是，不习惯也不是。自己也不知为什么，越来越难适应。或是compromise对方太多了吧。很想睡得舒服。但可能比较难在我们俩之间找到一个平衡。或是因为我没讲？还是他没发觉到？但是我要讲的是，可能他已经听到我跟我妈讲了，但我不是以前的我，不会乱告诉人家。所以除了我妈之外，也只有另一个人知道。

在宿舍真的要懂得掩饰自己的感情。不能在其他人面前哭，也有很多东西不能很容易的说出口。那还要继续住吗？可能是神给我的一个训练，不能这么依靠我妈了。真的要长大了。真的很不想长大。为什么？我也不知道。可能在情感方面就常只依靠她。这下我真的哭了。该睡觉了。要脱离脱离脱离！不然明天一定有人问。

应该没人会看吧。看了请tag。至少我知道还有人在读。谢谢！

2009-08-23T20:46:00.002+08:00

i know i haven't blogged for ages coz mainly of the use of twitter. but there are some things that really cant be expressed in 140 characters.

school has started and work's beginning to pile even before i manage to settle down in school. not because i'm still in the play mood but because there's really too much changes to uni life. lessons are often unpredictable, i have to do almost 9 readings a week, no more numbers and calculations to look at, few familiar faces, wierd accents, wierd hall people, the clubbing and staying till late culture and the list goes on.

piano exam was on friday which was totally screwed. and everytime ppl ask me how is it i try to smile and say 'it's ok, i still have nx yr!' maybe tt's nature, tt's me. not liking ppl to worry about me, not liking to hear ppl say 'dont cry lah, confirm pass one!'

so after piano exam, i thought i would be able to finally settle down in school and feel less of a burden, there's individual presentation coming tues which i have nothing to write/talk abt till now. it's so stressful to be the first to present, not knowing what to say, what the reading is about, whether the projector works, how to present. all i can to is walk by faith, have confidence in God. i always try to tell myself 'don't worry! it's only 5%!' but the thought tt it's counted in final term just freaks me out.

many uncertainties still lies ahead, and i always ask God 'why not you just send me to china, spread the gospel, do sth more meaningful than reading stuff tt i dont understand, not particularly interested in?' i gotta say i still dont have any answers, i have no idea what i'm doing now, in the future. i always have this thought of changing my course, going back HK to at least do sth i'm interested in.

i wish that i can go on stage again, not because of the recognition and applause and praises and flowers i get, but because tt's what i enjoy most and tt's my dream. everytime i see joey yung, i'll always hope tt i was able to do all those. and how i can share my testimony, definitely including songs like I CAN TRUST YOU and dai ling wo. one day i'll have my own album, choreo my own dance for my song, particularly contemp where most youths aren't liking anymore. and then i can use this to go into china, base there, and spend the rest of my life serving God in china. but i know some dreams will nvr come true. and i have better things to do.

writing all these down made me feel much better. alone in the hostel room, i thought i'll cry like mad, thinking of what to do for the presentation, cracking my brains not coming out with anything, and lastly i'll end up watching video and playing games. now i'm in a calm state to focus on my presentation. pray tt i'll really come out with something.

now, there's still a use in blogging. i dont know when i'll be back here again, or anyone will read this since this blog is dead for ages and this is such a long post. but i still love you, blog!

2009-06-29T17:32:00.001+08:00

who says discipline was easy?

i failed today

2009-05-09T23:44:00.002+08:00

100th post. and hadn't been posting for a long time.

我不想说,不想讲. 但是一直放在心里,不知几时才有勇气说出来. 突然想起可以用这个管道把所有东西都说出来.

常跟其他人说'我不怕',但那真的是真话吗?whenever i hear anyone who've gotten their replies, i'll always ask, when am i gonna get one? what if i really dont get? what route am i gonna go? you think i really wanna go back HK to study? do i even bear to leave spore?

有时候觉得带快乐给人家真的那么重要吗? 为了不要别人担心,只好说一些自己都不知道是真还是假的话.但是始终自己都不知道自己真正在想什么.

some verses from a book i just finished reading
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and a sound mind" 2 Tim 1:7
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:14

2008-12-23T21:18:00.002+08:00

ok. i shall blog probably my last post of the year as i will be flying (again) to HK tml and i may not have time for a christmas and NYE post. and since ppl are flooding my tagboard to tell me to blog, so i shall fulfill their wish.

so far, i went to melbourne and vietnam. melbourne was alright i guess. too city for me though. dint manage to find zhiyang coz of the schedule and i have no way to contact him. dance there was fantastic and brett rocks!! was quite irritated over some stuff though but felt much better now! i loved the lavender garden and strawberry farm!

after that was prom. it was alright and i shall not complain about the food coz i dint eat it since it's like all spicy. all i know is i was super tired coz i woke up at 4 plus am that morning thanks to time lag from melbourne though it's only 3 hrs earlier. took quite a lot of photos though. and i took with AK!!! HAHA!!!but i was n't wearing prom dress at that time. and I WILL NEVER BE A TAI TAI!!! maybe a wanyee style one but not a typical one...haha...

then had showcase on the nx mon. nothing really special but i think it was sort of an end to seeing the dancers almost everyday.

then was YA chalet! invited zimin and jas but they couldn't make it in the end. but over all it was fun serving the bros and sis! cutting fruits at 3 am and sleeping only at 5 plus. the chalet was quite good though lots of ants!

then met up with ph and bind the nx mon. all 3 of us went to diff countries sincce we last met! and all 3 are like totally different. haha...had a great time! and BIND! you spoilt our plan! how can you!!!!haha...jkjk...

wed i flew to vietnam. the SQ service wasn't as good though. but dec is really the month that i ever watch the most movies. so far is 5 then i guess i'll watch one more on CX on wed. haha. Hanoi was pretty messy and dusty so i wasn't really in favour of that. but the food was not bad. and they sell dog meat! OMG!!! see...not only China does this kind of stuff...iris even saw cat meat and the tour guide say they eat rabbit meat also. how disgusting. i actually so the bbq-ed or whatever way they cooked it dog which is cut into half and some places have dog heads and tails sticking out! it's even worse than live dogs which are scary enough. anw...the scenery was not bad but their temples cant beat China's and they smell different. we had a sampan ride for 2 hrs which led me to headaches coz after that was 2 hrsbus ride back to Hanoi. but that was not the worst. i went Ha Long Bay and had half a day of boat ride then 3 hrs ride back to Hanoi and then had a trishaw ride on the messy and dusty and noisy streets of Hanoi. so i felt nauseous and hadvery bad headaches which led to me eating very little for dinner which was served only at 9 spore time which means i dont normally eat a lot at this kind of time. but over all, it was quite good. i wanna go Ho Chih Minh City next.

then i'll be flying back to HK tml at arnd 6. quite excited coz all my cousins will be back this time...really missed those times when everyone were in HK and always eating dinner tgt at our grandma's hse. and i get to EAT and SHOP! yesh!!!haha...ok...that's all my activities after i end 'A's which feels like 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years ago! haha...

ps. i still owe 2 farewell posts so i'll post it after i post my 100th post...haha...this is the 99th post!

2008-11-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

i know it's time for me to blog but it's getting late so i'll blog a super long onetml or mon before i fly to melbourne. so please be patient and wait. HAHAHAHA!!!!

2008-11-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

i'm scared. but do not worry!!!it'll be over very soon...omg...ok...byebye

2008-10-21T21:42:00.002+08:00

不知为什么心里很不安.
还有那么—点点的时间
我真的可以做到吗?

好不容易走到这一步
为什么不要好好的走下去?
相信神!
他祝福的手—直在带领着我
他的恩典—定够我用的!

farewell-events

2008-10-11T10:41:00.002+08:00

1. ELYSIUM dance concert 2008
it was a dream come true since sec 1 when i started dancing in school. though it was really tiring, but i was glad that all went well. i'll miss those days in the studio and all the scoldings and laughters and naggings and pain. and don't forget, ms wee saved 2 dances for us!

2. ACES day
it's just so scary to lead a dance in front of the whole school. but i was glad that it went well. from teaching the dances during PE lessons, the recording and mixing of the songs, making up names for the steps for easier memory, i'm glad it went well. and ACES should be the only thing that the whole hse comm did together.

3.Orientations
4 orientations, 4 totally different experiences. first as OGM, then OGL, then OHL, then MOHL. i wouldn't say i had fun in all, but i learnt many lessons through them.

4. cheerleadings/colosseums
it's so tiring as a cheerleader. so hard to coordinate. it's so difficult to try to make practices fun but yet serious. it was so difficult to not use the dance method of polishing, coz ppl wun know what difference it makes when angles are wrong. but i had fun overall i guess. but it was just really tiring.

5. road race
i hate the mascot race. esp the 2008 one. running from head to toe, toe to head. tired sia. but well, what can i say?

6. open house
dancing under the sun at noon for 4 times, with flu, with cramps and feeling really sleepy. it was open hse when i thought that there were ppl who really cared.

7.SYF
i miss the seniors! it's the first time ever that i feel dance is really tiring. still rmb climbing over the fence. it's really great to know these people. can't wait for the next time we dance again!!!

8.LTC
my dear ahmads!!!i really had a great time! the cheers, laughter, dragon boating, campfire, SANDCASTLE!!!, and lots more!!! i really miss these bunch of people!!!and the fun!!!

9.Pre-U Sem
really tiring and a test of my patience. but i'm glad for those who were theree for me and hearing my complaints. and this is the last event that i really enjoyed myself!

10.Melbourne trip
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

2008-10-02T21:24:00.001+08:00

btw, all the best to those taking PSLE tml!

2008-10-02T20:57:00.002+08:00

"For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:32-34

i guess God really wants me to stop worrying. results haven't been good and i have never felt so demoralised in my life before. and once again i was told that i underperform, but hello, cant you see i have improvements in ALL my subjects? you think i'm very happy with my results.i go everywhere trying to comfort ppl for their results. so? what about me? always telling ppl that i'm alright since there's improvement...so? well, if my chem get E in 'A's i'll have improvement! what so happy about that?

i dont know when i'll really not be able to take it. but i hope that day never come. i really pray that i'll really trust in theLORD and let all the negative things get out of the way so i really can concentrate. i really want a break.

please pray for me.

ps. HK trip was a great relaxer.

pss. my bday let me see the more impt things, not presents.

2008-08-21T20:47:00.002+08:00

when you know that people have high expectations of you, you really don't want to let them down. but it has come to this point where everytime i'm told that i underperform, i really can't take it anymore. i really want to give up. i don't know how long i can last. today was really not a good day. after getting my test which i did horribly, he rubbed in the fact that i'm underperforming. i was trying really hard to hold back my tears, under all this stress. maybe i shouldn't have done so well last year. so i went toilet and cried, not wanting to let people worry. but obviously some realised but thank God they didn't ask much.

i always thought i have already overcome the high expectations of people, and not study to meet those expectations, but to glorify God. but it's getting so difficult. why is it that when we have this amazing chance to study, we can't appreciate it? it's slightly more than 2 months to the start of the end, and slightly less than 3 months to the very end. i really need prayers, and i realised how powerful prayer is today. i was relunctant to turn to God at first, buti realise He is my only refuge. then read Psalm 143 that Jia En sent. really thank God for such a caring DM.

hope tomorrow will be a better day, with more joy and less sorrows. and i really hope that for the next of the race, no onewill ever tell me that i underperform, coz i know clearly when i'm performing to my standards and when i'm not. don't increase the stress level in me.

2008-08-07T21:10:00.002+08:00

"Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." 2Corinthians 1:9

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 2 Corinthians 7:10

i felt emo on the bus today. i just wanted to cry at that time, but i dont know why and tears coulcn't come down. maybe i wasn't really relying on God this whole week. there is so much more time to reflect on my day now that time is mostly spent on studying. but i always give studying as an excuse for not talking to God.

visiting uncle lian qing at CGH reminded myself when i was there lying on the bed 2 years back. suddenly, a scared feelingcame to me. i'm always haunted by thoughts like what if i get hospitalised again during 'A's? and during every exam i have, the same htought pops into my mind. the fear hasn't gone. it really took me some courage to walk from A&E to the ward. i guess i really need to pray.

it hasn't been a good week. not a very God-centred week. maybe that explains my emo-ness. i'm glad i dint pon sch on tues, though i really had the intention to. and also tomorrow. it's difficult to fight with my old self, but well, Godly sorrow leaves to no regrets! so i'm gonna persevere! go wanny!

Rebecca St. James - I Can Trust You

2008-07-31T20:45:00.002+08:00

Yes, I know that You have paved a path for me
Yes, I know that You see what I do and don’t need
But when it comes to the deepest things
I have a hard time relinquishing control
Letting go

God, it hurts to give You what I must lay down
But when I let go, freedom’s found
God, it hurts to give You what I’ve held so dear
Because of Your love it’s clear
I can trust You with this
I can trust You with me
I can trust You

Lord, I know that You are worthy of my trust
For You have shown me time and time again
You’re faithful and yet
I’m so scared of letting go of this
Afraid of what You might do with it
How could I forget who You are like this

Me forsaking
Heart is breaking
I let go of what I’ve held so tight
Freedom’s mine now
For the taking
I move in faith, not by sight
Let Your will be done

it really hurts. sometimes, i am just not willing to let go.there's still this part of me that is wanting to go back to the world. it's not just about dance enymore. i'm just not willing to letgo of my old self. but as what the song says, it's only when you let go, there's when you find freedom. but why am i being so stubborn not willing to let go, thinking that i'll get more freedom? Lord, help me to see the spiritual light. Help me to get rid of the most dancerous enemy - the darkness that causes the world to look so much more attractive.

on another note, i think ms lai rocks. her speech was like so inspirational. Dan Jansen. that was her story. she's like the best principal ever. and when she starts talking, no one dares to talk. she has the respect from like the whole school. and yet she's still so nice.after her speech, i was so inspired to become a principal like her. she just rock lah.

Rebecca St. James & Barlow Girls - forgive me

2008-07-30T22:26:00.002+08:00

For all the times I’ve failed You, Lord

Forgive me

For all the ways I’ve fallen shortLord,

forgive me now

God, I’m so in need of grace

I fall upon my faceForgive me
You see the tears fall down my face

Forgive me

Take my fear, Lord, take my shame

Lord, forgive me now

Purify me, make me new

Like only You can do

Forgive me now
Lord, we come to honor You

We are forgiven

We bring our love and thanks to You

We are forgiven now
God we praise You for Your grace

Before You we are raised

Forgiven

God we praise You for Your grace

Before You we are raised

Forgiven

2008-07-19T23:32:00.002+08:00

well, i'm officially stopping dance. i don't know when i'm gonna ever go for a proper dance practice again, but i know, i'm gonna stop for now. until the melbourne trip comes along. it's sad, but well, as what the alumni said (amazingly i was listening), when the time comes, you have to let go. as much as any other dancers want to perform, i want to perform too. but i know i'll not regret my decision, coz it's a decision a made. dance has become a large part of my life, startin from SYF, national day, Open House and our biggest event ever, ELYSIUM. not forgetting cheerleading 2007, ACES day, interhouse mass dance and cheerleading 2008. i cant imagine how my life would be without dance. but i guess, i really have to let go. dance had made me drift away from people, studies and most importantly, GOD.

to all my dancers: we are a team. and i really don't wanna see ANYONE get their results next year and start dropping sad tears, and that includes me. even though we aren't gonna dance together until Melbourne trip comes, we still can meet up and give each other moral support and study together! and i know our teachers wouldn't wanna see us like that too. it's amazing when people see 2 dancers walking together and always ask 'today got dance arh'. i have no idea why i wrote that. anyway, i guess we had enough fun already (even though trainings aren't always that fun), it's time we really sit down and settle ourselves for thise 4-month studey spree.we can have fun after that! it's just 4-months. if we could live without dance fro the past 16 years, i guess we can do it for at least 4 months. gambatte people!

to michelle: thanks so much for talking things out with us. it made me see things in a different way. this one half years is just amazing. frankly speaking, i didn't really like you in the beginning coz i think that someone is threatening my place as the dance president, but well, in the end both of us still have a position, but in 2 totally different ways. i guess our friendship really got deeper durin LTC. still rmb your SK II mask, only trying to scare people. and the time after dragon boating. thanks for working so hard for dance, having always to listen to both sides of stories. i guess you're really the one that knows the teachers the best. especially your imitations! anyway, study hard and we are so gonna study together and you'll listen to your classical music which is so super nice!!!

to joslyn: i'm sorry for the decision we've made. but i really can't see my dancers' results continue going down the drain. as much as you wanna perform, i wanna perform too. but really, at some point of time, there are some things that have to let go. priorities are very important. nevermind if you put dance before studies. but not when you put dance before God. i'm not gonna say much about it, coz i really don't know how strong your faith is in God. anyway, i really hope you wouldn't neglect your studies and really still work hard for 'A's. no matter how much you don't feel like performing with us anymore, we're still a team and we still want to see you smile when you get your results. and that includes ms sue and ms sim.

anyway, read wh's blog and the first line reminded me of something that i blogged before long time ago. i'm gonna change it a bit to fit in to what i've been typiiing for the past half hour.
Am i a christian who happen to be a dancer, or a dancer who happen to be a christian?
i especially write this to joslyn. really hope you think through some things from what i say. you can always come to me. i pray that i will always be the former. priorities!!!

2008-07-11T21:07:00.001+08:00

i just have one thing to say, i'm dead tired. and it's only the 4th day!!!imagine i still have 4 more months!!!and this week was just going through of papers...omg...how how how???

2008-07-07T20:24:00.002+08:00

tomorrow marks the start of my 4-month study spree.
but in the midst of studying, i'll not forsake QT and also serving.
and i'll not stress myself so much, since God has given my this privilege to study so i'll enjoy it! that's why i don't mug, i study!!!
and i'll cont encouraging the people around me who are also busy studying.
and if i get lost during this time, please remind me of my utmost focus and motivation.
last 4 months of MOE education!!! Gambatte people!!!

2008-07-04T21:51:00.002+08:00

do i wanna be an eagle, a chicken, or an eagle wanting to be a chicken?
thanks for the encouragements and reminders.
讚美之泉展開清晨的翅膀

主耶和華, 你已經鑒察了我。
我坐下, 我起來, 你都已曉得。
我行路, 我躺臥, 你都細察，
你也深知我一切所行。
我舌頭上的話, 你沒有一句不知道。
你在我前後環繞著我, 按手在我身上。
這樣的奇妙, 是我不能測透，
你的至高你的尊貴, 是我永遠不能所及。
我可以往哪裡去躲避你的靈？
我可以往哪裡去逃, 可躲避你的面？
我若展開清晨的翅膀飛到地極, 就在那裡，
你的雙手也必引導我。

不要再逃了, 回家吧!

2008-06-22T22:25:00.001+08:00

wanted to blog about what Ailing said today. Matthew 5:38-42. but i'll do it tml. not really in the mood now. 9 more days to end of exams. gambatte everyone!

2008-06-17T21:00:00.002+08:00

thank GOD that the person replace my GC for free!!!then i don't have to waste 200 bucks to buy a new one since the old one can't be fixed! and my warrranty is actually over!

2008-06-16T21:39:00.002+08:00

i complained. again. i need to learn to stop complaining. i told myself i cannot say anything about what happened anymore unless i'm gonna reconcile with him but i broke my own promise. God please help me. though i really had fun today, i knew i did something wrong. arghhhh...i need patience, self-control. and i still don't have the courage to talk to him. i need to learn to let go of all the wrongs he did. ARGHHHHH...this is getting irritating

2008-06-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

i jogged today!i don't know why the sudden urge. praobably i wanted sometime alone, out of home, without any distractions. but jogging is great! i love it!
i watched SYTYCD3 today! it's been long since i watched dance on TV. i remembered the first season. the only full episode i watched was when i was in hospital. and it's like 2 years ago. how time flies. anyway, saw a girl without arm and a guy without leg danced. i mean they had fake arm and leg but their passion. WOW! though the guy didn't make it but the girl did! how can you breakdance with a fake leg?
i love my brothers and sisters in christ! spamming my tagboard with great encouragements!
pray that i'll get my GC fixed tomorrow and i'll really get enough rest. can't stand it when i wake up at 7 everyday feeling super tired but cant go back to sleep.it's not a good feeling.

2008-06-10T13:47:00.000+08:00

am i gonna just follow what others are doing for the next half of my jc life? it's just how true God's words are. we have to be responsible for the decisions we made. and i have faced it before. one year and one month ago, i made my own decision and followed what others say. but i did not listen to God, did not seek God's will. and i had to bear the consequences.

church camp had made me realise how miserable my life has been for the times while i was in jc. i was just working for people and trying to show people the best of me. but i did not live for God.

this time round, i'm determined. i really am. determined to turn back to God. i know the route back will not be easy, but i know when i trust everything to God, He'll provide.

2008-06-10T08:34:00.002+08:00

everyday i'm reminded to put God as my priority. it's just so amazing how God reminds you of things. now, i'm living a happier life, a more focused one.
the important thing now is discipline to study. midyears are in like less than 2 weeks but i havent done much revision. i need to stay focused!

2008-06-09T22:49:00.001+08:00

am i gonna just follow what others are doing for the next half of my jc life? it's just how true God's words are. we have to be responsible for the decisions we made. and i have faced it before. one year and one month ago, i made my own decision and followed what others say. but i did not listen to God, did not seek God's will. and i had to bear the consequences.
church camp had made me realise how miserable my life has been for the times while i was in jc. i was just working for people and trying to show people the best of me. but i did not live for God. this time round, i'm determined. i really am. determined to turn back to God. i know the route back will not be easy, but i know when i trust everything to God, He'll provide.

2008-06-09T13:20:00.000+08:00

"Let Go" by Dewayne Woods

I couldn't seem to fall asleep
There was so much on my mind
Searching for that peace
But the peace I could not find
So then I knew how to pray
Praying helped me please
Then He said you don't have to cry
Cause I'll supply all your needs

As sooon as I stop worrying
Worrying how the story ends
I'll let go and I let God
Let God have His
when things start happening
I'll stop looking at back then
I let go and I'll let God have His way

There so much going on
Sometimes I can't find my way
And often times I struggle
Struggle from day to day
I have to realize that it's not my battle
It's not my battle to fight
I have to know if I to put it in His hands
That everything will be alright

As sooon as I stop worrying
Worrying how the story ends
I'll let go and I let God
Let God have His when things start happening
I'll stop looking at back then
I let go and I'll let God have His way

are we willing to let go of our lives and let God take charge?

2008-06-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

it's irritating when people just dont listen to instructions and then later come and ask all the questions that was answered during briefing.
it's irritating when people get angry with you because you did not tell them what to do when most of what they should do was told in the briefing and others were common sense.
it's even more irritating when people do something wrong and they just give you that stupid smile on their faces acting innocent.
it's even more more irritating when you have to resolve all the problems that people have made which should nto be happening.
it's even more more more irritating when you have to put a smile on your face when you're already bursting with anger inside.

thanks to my fellow SLOs for listening to all my nonsense everyday.

thanks to Nawal. for dumping all the saikang to you like cleaning up the table. i'm sorry i can't help much. you should know why. at least we think in common. haha. well, have fun studying and doing your essay outlines.

thanks cluster B2. had fun with you guys during the 6 days. i guess it started with barney. thanks for all the joy and laughter you provided me through the week no matter how angry i was.

2008-05-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

am i willing to say no to my desires?
am i willing to accept the sufferings?
am i willing to let go of all the worldly things around me?
am i willing to quieten down myself to stay in front of God?
am i willing to live a Christ-like life?

there are things that i need to resolve. but i just dont have the courage to talk about things. please pray for me. as i learn to let go of things, to forget the past. i need strngth from God. thank you my dear brothers and sisters.

it's almost 2 years. i'm blogging this because i wont be around when the day comes. 26th May 2006. thank God for the relatively good health this past 2 years.

the song that always gives me the courage and strength from God.
作曲：黄国伦作词：黄国伦编曲：黄国伦
你的意念高过我的意念
你的道路高过我的道路
每当我彷徨失措软弱无助的时候词
我要在你怀中安息

你的时候不同我的时候
要等候不住感谢祈求自
知道黑暗会过去我要在你光中欢喜
谁能敌挡我若你要帮助我

困难算什么痛苦算什么
在它们的背后是你祝福的手
孤单算什么羞辱算什么
你的爱是那么深你的恩典够我用

带领我怜悯我我要紧紧跟随你
我要全心依靠你你是我主我的拯救
带领我扶持我我要天天歌颂你
坚信不移你应许你是葡萄树我是枝子不分离

Eason Chan-最佳損友

2008-04-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

朋友我当你一秒朋友

朋友我当你一世朋友

奇怪过去再不堪回首

怀缅时时其实还有

朋友你试过将我营救

朋友你试过把我批斗

无法再与你交心联手

毕竟难得有过最佳损友

从前共你促膝把酒倾通宵都不够

我有痛快过你有没有

很多东西今生只可给你

保守至到永久别人如何明白透

实实在在踏入过我宇宙

即使相处到有个裂口

命运决定了以后再没法聚头

但说过去却那样厚问

我有没有确实也没有

一直躲避的借口非甚么大仇

为何旧知己在最后变不到老友

不知你是我敌友已没法望透

被推着走跟着生活流最亲的某某

生死之交当天不知罕有

到你变节了至觉未够

多想一天彼此都不追究

相邀再次喝酒待葡萄成熟透

但是命运入面每个邂逅

一起走到了某个路口

是敌与是友各自也没有自由

位置变了各有队友

问我有没有确实也没有

一直躲避的借口非甚么大仇

为何旧知己在最后变不到老友

不知你是我敌友已没法望透

被推着走跟着生活流

来年陌生的是昨日最亲的某某早

知解散后各自有际遇作导游

奇就奇在接受了各自有路走

却没人像你让我眼泪背着流

严重似情侣讲分手

有没有确实也没有

一直躲避的借口非甚么

大仇为何旧知己在最后变不到老友

不知你又有没有挂念这旧友

或者自己早就想通透

来年陌生的是昨日最亲的某某

总好于那日我没有没有遇过某某

2008-04-07T10:49:00.000+08:00

Thank God for today's sermon. Really have to thank God for whatever you have.

Anyway, I need to get back on track for many things. My walk with God, studies, and lots move. Still thinking of whether to go O school after mid-years. Well, that depends on my results. Didn't do well for block test. So really must buck up le.

2008-03-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

SOL-FA

behind the beautiful concert

Mm.

reach for the stars!

mongogo!

SOL-FA

just some of my fave photos. others can go other dancers' blogs to see. or the dance blog. i'm too lazy to put.HAHA.

anw...dancers say i was emo, so now, i'll say that i'm GLAD THAT DANCE CONCERT IS OVER AND I"M SUPER HIGH NOW!!!!!!HAHA!!!!BYE BYE!!!!

2008-03-16T14:22:00.000+08:00

MTR Song 地鐵之歌

i'm sure u'll remember ALL the stations.

陪我长大--容祖兒

2008-03-16T14:04:00.000+08:00

作曲编曲监制:陈光荣填词:林夕

当初跟你备课成为战友

到下课亦要牵手

纵年幼学会伤春悲秋

ha……

到大个为了要奋斗

把记忆留在千秋

有烦恼学会了笑笑口

彼此看着变高世间旅途

我们曾以心声跳舞

如此关系像光跟影

日后未必找得到

过去逛尽千里路

我们还有很多哩数

陪我长大互相修补

分享每段路let's take the ride

失恋的你定会共我分忧

心纵使留下伤口

我和你仍能往远处走

彼此看着变高世间旅途

我们曾以心声跳舞

如此关系像光跟影

日后未必找得到

过去逛尽千里路

我们还有很多哩数

陪我长大互相修补

分享每段路let's take the ride

长年维系要好

没有生疏却步

情怀仍像赤子

得你会做到

彼此看着变高世间旅途

我们曾以心声跳舞

如此关系像光跟影

日后未必找得到

过去逛尽千里路

我们还有很多哩数

陪我长大互相修补

分享每段路let's take the ride

Elvis Presley - Rubberneckin' (Paul Oakenfold Remix)

2008-03-09T12:45:00.000+08:00

it all ended ina high note.

Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
If your rubberneckin' baby well that's all right with me
Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
It's called rubberneckin' baby but that's all right with me
Some people say I'm wasting time yeh, but they don't really know
I like what I see I see what I like yeh, it gives me such a glow

First thing in the morning, last thing at night
I look, stare everywhere and see everything inside
Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
If your rubberneckin' baby well that's all right with me
Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
It's called rubberneckin' baby but that's all right with me
Some people say I'm wasting time yeh, but they don't really know
I like what I see I see what I like yeh, it gives me such a glow

Sittin' on the back porch all by myself
Along came Mary Jane with somebody else
Well, stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
It's called rubberneckin' baby but that's all right with me

Some people say I'm wasting time yeh, but I don't really care
I like what I see, I see what I like yeh, it gives me such a glow

Sittin' on the back porch all by myself
Along came Mary Jane with somebody else
Well, stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
It's called rubberneckin' baby but that's all right with me
Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
Stop, look and listen baby that's my philosophy
Stop

2008-03-04T14:24:00.000+08:00

when going to school becomes a chore, with nothing to look forward to after school.

2008-03-01T21:09:00.000+08:00

you once thought that you would hate dance forever.
you once thought that you wouldn't wanna dance again.
you once thought that all these was worth nothing.
but on 28th FEBRUARY 2008, you saw that dancing is your life.
you just wanna continue dancing.
you just love dancing.
you did not want it to end, even if trainings take up 6 of your 7 precious days.

thanks for all those wonderful memories.
thanks for always being there for me, even as i face problems in my life.
thanks for showing me that dancing is really fun.
thanks for helping me change dance from a passion to a chore and then it becomes a passion once more.

our hard work has finally paid off.
and on 28th FEBRUARY 2008, ELYSIUM became a reality.
ELYSIUM will always be part of my life
ELYSIUM will always be part of the dancers' lives.
ELYSIUM will always be in my heart.
ELYSIUM 2008 was a success.
ELYSIUM, from a dream, a nightmare to reality.
ELYSIUM started work since november (minusing all the admin things)
ELYSIUM, after 4 months of hard work, is finally over.

it was a joyous night.
it was a memorable night.
it was a teary night.
it was a night that i'll never forget.
it was a night where all our hard work has finally paid off.
it was a night where we got the loudest cheers ever.
it was a night where cheers were the most sincere.
it was a night where people had doubts of their performance.
it was a night where everyone was happy with their performance.
it was a night where we finally got a thumbs up from our instructors.
it was a night where i've never seen my instructors smiled so widely before.
it was a night where we got the most praises.
it was a night where ELYSIUM became a success.

this post can never end. but i'll have to end it here. i miss all my dearest dancers. and more importantly, i miss dance. i'll see how i survive without dance for 3 weeks.

now, it's time to buck up my school work since block test is in 2 weeks' time. and my walk with God, which has really gone down the drain. thank God that i'll be baptised tomorrow.

going and gone

2008-02-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

tiring. but enjoying it.

and things are coming to an end

in 5 days' time.

we are not going to be just hi-bye friends,

aren't we?

i will never forget the wonderful times.

the skin tearing times.

the talking times,

the de-stressing times,

the late nights,

the tears,

the joy,

the laughter,

the free-styling.

an experience i will never forget.

never ever.

thanks for the greatest time in my MJC life.

i will miss your laughter,

your hosting,

your smile,

your happiness,

your hair,

your voice,

your optimistic self,

your acting,

your singing.

thanks for bringing joy to my life,

for inspiring me with your laughter,

for making me laugh,

for always putting excellent shows.

a person who does not have a fan club

but is well loved by everyone.

you will be dearly missed.

rest in peace, Lydia Sum.

you will always be remembered.

Imogen Heap - Hide And Seek

2008-01-20T10:41:00.000+08:00

the ever so fabulous contemp song!

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to fall
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads - heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first

Mmmm whacha say,
Mmmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whacha say,
Mmmm that its all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whacha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whacha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
oh no, you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

2008-01-20T10:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i just want to pon school. everyday i look at the timetable, i just want to stay at home. but i know it is not the right thing to do. lessons are so packed and recesses and lunches are used to do homework. and teachers are adding extra lessons. and tests are in 2-3 weeks time. and till now, i know nuts about things going on in class. except for maths. and being so busy with dance and house comm, i have no time to study. so how can i meet the expectations that i set for myself, that people are expecting? topping the class in maths and physics. can i do it once more? even chem. i should just spend this time to study. but obviously i'm not studying. i was talking to phoebe about using the comp for all the wrong reasons and mdm iznarti overheard the whole conversation and she just started laughing. funny. and i was late for school yesterday. first time this year. not like i really bothered.

and i realised i dont have much time to think of what happened through the day. and i just lose track of itme and where i am. while having chem lesson which was in the third floor, i just had this really strong feeling that i'm on the first floor. so wierd. and i dont even know what date it is and even worse, what day. i thought wednesday was a friday. i think i'm going crazy.

anyway, just some random thanking session.
thanks QAHHAR! for doing the CNY thing. which i think is a total waste of time.and coming out with the design of the mascot! we are so gonna win the mascot! ms lim wants the trophy BADLY! actually i also!

thanks SOOBOON! for being such a great secretary! and typing the list of runners and calling people to run! so glad that we have enough people! without you, miranda hse comm really can die. i'm sorry if i'm always not around. we do have our differences in thinking. and i've learnt to let go through all that has happened. i don't know what are your feelings at this very moment, but let me just say that i've put things behind me and am moving on. hope you are too! let us start afresh ya? i know this 1 plus month is gonna be tough on you since i'm always not around, but i'll still be there whenever i can. and i really appreciate it if you tell me about the progress and other things that is happening! thanks so much!

thanks PECKHONG! finally you give me my 4 month old present! HAHA!!! it's really great seeing you around in school! especially when our home rooms are just next to each other! really missed the times when you sat behind me and always got scolded by teachers for talking too much. all my fault. whole day only talk. haha. it's been great knowing you for 5 years and still counting! remembered this time of last year we thought that we would not have time to see each other again. but miraculously, you came MJC. and i don't feel alone any longer. especially when you are always beside me! anyway, we still gotta buy BINDHYA's present. if not she won't give us ours. and lets go out during CNY! i'm super free! since i told my mum dont ask me do homework.

thanks DANCE CLIQUE! we've known each other for 1 year now. from the days of SYF till the concert. really had a great time having lunch with you all and going crazy. and to YUENYIN my sleeping partner, studio is really a best place to sleep in school. to LOIS, my dearest daughter, really glad to have someone from hse comm that is in dance as well. when times i was down, i really had someone to talk to. to WANTING, subway rocks! anyway, loved all the times we spent together. be it dancing or EATING! you have more commitments now but dont pon dance and lessons ok? to IRIS and YUNN YUE, really had fun dancing and talking to you guys as well. lastly, to our ever so adorable GLADYS, it's been long since we last seen/talk to each other. i hope everything is going fine. really really hope to see you during dance concert. we miss you lots!

last of all, i want to congratulate all the newly appointed MIRANDA OGLS! i hoped you all had fun during OGL interview. never seen me so emo right? brian chia! haha...i really had fun during OGL interview, especially the scenario, which i think that it is the part that you all hate the most! anyway, i'm really sorry to those who are OGLS but posted to other houses, i know it doesnt feel good but hope you all still keep the spirit high! and all the best to those who want to be OHL!

such a long post. and full of randomness. haha.

爱回家 - 古巨基

2008-01-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

勤力过捱骂过如做错
谁又会原谅我怀念家中被窝
想去躲这麼吃力求甚麼

投入过麻木过
磨练过沉闷过疲累过
其实我进取麼
时间从未敢蹉跎
赚到几多
赚到的只是你
能被你温柔无微的照顾
被你那麼在乎
平日有你纵坏已忘记辛苦

活著有你多好
多麼渺小都变宝
躺在平静被舖上漫谈来日旅途
回到家中便有你多好
一碗暖汤的鼓舞
沾湿我眼睛
有人期求我归家来互抱

唯独你明白我
成就过谁又说容易过
曾受了气几多
能听我解释因何在这被窝

赚到的只是你
能被你温柔无微的照顾
被你那麼在乎
平日有你纵坏已忘记辛苦

活著有你多好
多麼渺小都变宝
躺在平静被舖上漫谈来日旅途
回到家中便有你多好
一碗暖汤的鼓舞
沾湿我眼睛
有人祈求我归家

自问已经得到
得到你比一切好
躺在平静被舖上望浮云在过路
回到家中便有你多好
张开两臂的鼓舞
沾湿我眼睛
眼前繁华有几好来互抱

2008-01-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

thanks to MIRANDA! you guys were great! never seen freshmen so hyper on the first day! even i wasn't like that.

thanks to MIRANDA OGLS! thanks for helping! sorry i might get harsh sometimes but i really hope you all had fun!all the best for your As...HAHA!

thanks to MIRANDA HOUSE COMM! thanks for all the help in the preparations and campfire and durin orientation itself. sorry for being so self centred.

thanks to JUN KAI! you have been a really great house liaison!thanks for always being there. and for the dedication.

thanks to JANICE! our MAC PAC! haha...thanks for giving me that hug

thanks to GENEVIEVE! thanks for talking things out with me. i really haven't been letting go things.

thanks to 4 HOUSE CAPTAINS! really had a great time filming with you all. and i really loved the campfire one! all the stupid things you all did

thanks to FAZALL! thanks for helping me come out with that speech. i'm so glad you are in Miranda!

2008-01-02T15:48:00.000+08:00

it's the new year!!!!whatever lah...just felt like blogging since i most probably wun have the time to blog anymore...coz sch is startin...wth lah...and i haven finish my hw....basically, i just did waves tutorial and 1 qn of maclaurin's...such a great achievement!!!haha...just some thoughts for the past year...

well...started a blog in february. i was reading every single post, and a lot of things flashed in my mind. i really thank God for this blog. at least i managed to sort out my emotions. control it. at least i know better what i'm thinking. YAY!!! i'm starting to go crazy. coz tml's the start of ORIENTATION!!!!whatever lah...and i'm not slping until 2 again!!!coz of HK 903 award ceremony!!after this ceremony, still got 2 mroe to go!!!which means i ahve 2 more late nights!!!but who cares...hhaa...love seeing JOEY!!!and EASON was really great with his song,"crying in the party". how he transformed a lsow song to a fast song and sing it so funnily but really well. HOCC was great too!!!! VINCY!!!haven't seen her yet...HINS was great as well...won best song! ok...i dunno what else to write...byebye!!!

2007-12-30T03:02:00.000+08:00

Lord, help me. help me to find my true self, my true meaning of living in this world. help me to find a reason for all that is happening. help me see what is right and what is wrong. help me see what i should be doing, what should my priority be. everytime i try to protect myself, i hurt people. and then, i ended up hurting myself again. what use is there to protect myself? thank God that i'm meeting Jia En later. at least i dont have to hide my feelings for so long. thank God for my church friends, always supportive. thanks for all the cards. crying is good. yes i know. thanks for everything CYYAM!

anyway, my mum is coming back tonight! which means i got new things!

2007-12-28T15:09:00.000+08:00

我真的不知道为什么这些事情会发生。可能是我想太多了吧。或这些都是真的。当初为什么我选了这条路？让自己受这种苦。但至少我学会了一些做人的道理。真的要感谢神让我有一些这么支持我的朋友。无论发生什么事都会在我身边。但神是我最要好的朋友，常用最不可思议的方式来鼓励我。韵怡，记得要把一切交托给神。以后的路虽困难，但神一定会保佑我，也要我从中学习宝贵的功课。谢谢神这些年来的照顾，我会坚强的！！！

2007-12-27T17:26:00.000+08:00

LALALA!!!I'M CRAZY!!! ESPECIALLY AT THIS TIME!!!IN 7 HOURS IS ADMIN DAY!!!AND I'M SUPPOSED TO REACH SCHOOL IN 6 HOURS!!!AND I'M NOT SLEEPING!!!I'M WATCHING TV!!!AND JOEY AND VINCY IS GETTING THE AWARDS THEY DESERVE!!!THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD VOICES!!!HOCC ALSO!!!AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!I'M REALLY GOING CRAZY!!!I'LL GO TO SLEEP AT 2!!!AND WAKE UP AT 445!!!AND THEN MUST GIVE PEOPLE MORNING CALL!!!AND I'M STILL GOING CRAZY!!!I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY BLOG BEFORE!!!THIS IS ONE MEMORABLE POST!!!HAHA!!!I'M SERIOUSLY GOING CRAZY!!!MY MIND ISN'T FUNCTIONING PROPERLY!!!LALALA!!!AND I'M GONNA SEE DAMN LOT OF JUNIORS IN 7 HOURS TIME!!!HOW GREAT CAN THAT BE!!!AND MAK!!!GO AND ASK MY BRO FOR MY NUMBER!!!U DAMN BAD LAH!!!OK!!!I'M SERIOUSLY CRAZY!!!SCOLDING PEOPLE FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON!!!PEOPLE BETTER DON'T READ THIS!!!HAHAHHA!!!!ANYWAY, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH, MY TWO FRONT TEETH, MY TWO FRONT TEETH!!!YAY!!!HOCC SO COOL!!!LALALA!!!I SHALL STOP DOWN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-25T14:25:00.000+08:00

confusing.super confusing. especially after JK asked me about something. maybe i'm not the only one. the past 2 months has been the most terrible months i've ever had. even if it's the holidays, even if dance was great. but my mind could never settle down, since the day the news broke. everyday, i ask myself, what will the future be like? can i ever do it well?
then came OGL camp, when JK told me about some things. i should never have doubted. maybe my feelings should never be made known. at least, if i didn't cry at that time, we'll be closer. at least, that's what i feel. or maybe i'm too engrossed in dance, forgetting about my duties as a hse comm member. maybe i'm just not meant to be in this position.
one day last month, i was looking at my hse comm badge. and i realised how much i've taken this badge for granted. the position for granted. the friends for granted. people were always by my side. be it miranda hse comm, ms lim, kevan, lois, brian or any other people. while looking at the badge, i suddenly feel a burden coming my way. i realised, sacrifice has to be made. am i ready? at least, i know i have people by my side supporting me.

ANYWAY!!!IT"S GONNA BE CHRISTMAS IN 1 HALF HOURS!!!I'M NOT GONNA BE EMO!!!HAHA!!!I'M GOING CRAZY AND I HVEN'T WRITE FINISH MY CHRISTMAS CARDS YET!!!LALALA!!!

2007-12-22T15:45:00.000+08:00

i know i should have blogged long ago...hhaa...but oh wellz...many many things happened through the near 1 month...super busy sia

had camp...thank God for the chance of sharing my testimony...it's not as scary after all.

anyway, just confused. very confused. maybe i'm thinking too much. or maybeeverything is just real. but i'm just confused with my position. i dont know what and i just cant put it in words. maybe it's time to stop avoiding but i cant bring myself to talk about it. for 2 months, i've been asking myself, what will the next half a year be like? can i even do my job properly? but now, what is my job?

anyway, have filming tomorrow. preparing for orientation. things like this i dont even dare to tell. haiz...maybe tomorrow i can talk to someone about it. and miranda house comm, I LOVE YOU! haha...tt was utterly random.

She without arm, he without leg - ballet - Hand in Hand

2007-12-04T14:38:00.000+08:00

we always complain how tiring dance is, and how much we wanna just stop dancing, quit dance and forget about our concert. but after watching this video, i realised how stupid my thinking was. a girl from committing suicide coz she lost an arm into this great dancer who feels so well along with the music and fighting everything in her life. a guy who was an athlete who has totally no idea what dance is. but always optimistic. just a carrying of the girl took them more than 12 hours. falling down almost everytime she got up there. what about us? we dont even dare do all the lifting. we dont even let the guy carry us coz it's itchy or afraid of heights. we take one kick as an easy task and always complaining bout wah very pain or some rubbish.

i hope this video is an inspiration to all dancers and for us to really work hard for our upcoming concert no matter what sacrifices we have to make.

2007-11-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

OGL camp ended. and i'm going Bintan tml! haha. no mood to blog nowadays. some things cant be said here.

OGL camp might not have gone smoothly, but at least lessons were learnt, friendships grown stronger. but really lack of sleep. too many things in my mind that prevented me from sleeping. special thanks to junkai gv kevan and brian for being there, listening to my complaints and whole lot of other stuff. nonetheless, my mind is much clearer now. i just hope tt all of us can just put off our differences at least for now until Orientation. things are getting serious now. i hope all of us understands. no matter what, Orientation's gonna be a fun one, a memorable one.

anyway, BYE PEOPLE!!! oh...and dance is tiring but company is great!!! haha!!!

2007-11-21T13:58:00.000+08:00

everyone is bored...haha...and no one has the mood to study...like obviously right?argh...whatever lah...at least makes me gg quite a bit...argh...i also dunno what to blog about sia...so bored!

ok...let me vent my anger a little! what's wrong with wearing clothes from HK??! it was freaking hot ok? and hello, do i even smell like a dim sum??! i know dim sum smells nice, but not on ME!!! PLEASE FOR ONE LAST TIME BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY!!! i'm slowly losing my patience!!!

何韵诗 - 劳斯莱斯

2007-11-15T12:50:00.000+08:00

劳斯和莱斯都是花样男子
劳斯原是个校队的优秀种子
莱斯只喜爱读书偏偏他俩
早见晚见每日著住
同样纯白衬衣
罗曼史开场于相邻的桌椅不过二人不敢放肆

能成为密友大概总带著爱
但做对好兄弟又如此相爱旁人会说不该
忘形时搭膊自有一面退开
暗里很享受却怕讲出来
两眼即使移开转开
心里面也知这是爱

男子和男子怎能亲密如此
劳斯难面对却跟她勾过手指
莱斯偏偏那样痴终於一次
她扑过去四目对望然后除下衬衣
迷惑中的劳斯此时先至知
一向没当这好手足女子

能成为密友大概总带著爱
但做对好兄弟又如此相爱旁人会说不该
纯情何时会让这悲剧揭开
他真的很意外想起相识以来
一起温书逛街听歌看海

日日也亲昵如情侣底牌终揭开

为何还害怕若觉得这样爱
尚在计算他又是谁可否爱
旁人哪个接受这种爱
明明绝配犯众憎便放开
永远的忍耐永远不出来
世界将依然不变改
只会让更多罪名埋没爱

可要像梁祝那样爱

2007-11-13T19:21:00.000+08:00

i go a new pet! haha...it's called longears like such a stupid name...and can go play game one! so go play ok? then can earn points for my pet...wah...i think i really opening farm...shall put more animals soon..haha...byebye!

2007-11-05T12:42:00.000+08:00

emo? want to fly back hongkong? sad sad...wait bah...

2007-11-05T11:12:00.000+08:00

had nightmares for the past 2 nights about OP. cant understand why. never ever had such horror. and it's not the first time i dreamt bout OP. it's os scary. tomorrow is the day. and after that, everything will be over. now, back to doing InR and OP! PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

2007-10-29T13:27:00.000+08:00

i just blogged less than 2 hours ago...and wat was i doing? blog-hoppping!!! like wth...i shall jsut forget about studying and go sleep or something. just some dedications again. suddenly feel like writing.

to Kathy, just put everything into the LORD's hands k? and i'll always be there when you need it. just don't stress yourself so much. GOD will take charge.

to Charles, thanks for letting me vant my anger and talk to me online until super late at night. you too must work hard. i know you can do it. dont even need my help. dont be a stupid slacker anymore!

to Govin, i'll miss your jokes and pointing down to the floor hoping that i'll look down and then start laughing at me.i'm glad u found out what went wrong. i'll be there when you need help!

to sebastian, not very close to you but just wish you all the best in your future.

sad to see people leaving. but maybe it's better for them.we'll see each other i'm sure!

2007-10-29T11:41:00.000+08:00

it's the end of one school year. JC has really been a taxing time for me and there's still one more year. but it's not as bad actually. thank God for the friends i made dring this one year. and strengthened friendships too! but lost contact with some. i'm sure to catch them up during the holidays. many things to do during the holidays. but shall get over with chinese and PW first. time to start planning for these 2 months! i better don't waste it!

built really good friendships this one year. just knew for less than a year but really managed to share problems with them. first, it was the dancers, then Ahmad, and now my dearest house comm. love the company in school. but i have been neglecting my sec school friends, even when we are always in the same compound. but they seem to know my problems even without me telling them. 4e4 is love!

learnt to open up to people this year. learnt that it is tiring to keep your feelings to yourself. really a big big thank you to all those who have been by my side for the past year. last year was a lot of physical hurt, and learnt to love my family more. this year, it's about friendship, and how important it is. i wonder what i'll learn next year? haha... thank GOD for letting me realise the lessons He's trying to teach me.

now, a list of what i gotta do:
1. DO MY QT! it has long been forgotten or taken seriously.
2. read! i really sould learn from my brother
3. meet up with my long lost friends. 4e4 is still love!
4. meet up with Ahmad. i miss them loads!
5. STUDY!!! especially chem and econs. if not...

ok...i think that's all. timeto study chinese. and i'll be alone for 1 day 2 nights.sad-ed. whatever lah...STUDY WANYEE!!!

2007-10-27T09:29:00.000+08:00

i had a great day yesterday, especially in the night. details? go to spoon and gv's blog! just to stress one point that the two stressed many many many times, BRIAN (or BRYAN) is so freaking cute!!!!obsession!!!and fish&co in changiairport rocks my damn freaking life! haha...ok...anw...had a really really good time with my dear MIRANDA hse comm...we'll have more of these times i'm sure! and i have 2 corrupted photos in my camera. KHAI and QAHHAR!!!u all are so gg to die!

today was alright. never cry coz well, nothing for me to cry about anyway.just some words to some people

to syaf, thanks for your card, i really appreciated it. and i know that you will always be there! i love you!

to kevan, thanks for being there. thanks for making me laugh with your stupid jokes. i know i have the support from the whole hse comm!

to brian (the atlas one), dont be so angry k? anything got me around!

to vincent and some in my class, thanks for listening to my complain, and thanks for telling me how bastard they are.

and yet again, they said that i was happy, and saying that now miranda is under dictatorship. can they pls stop it. am i not sad enough? am i not depressed enough? am i not stressed enough? you people jolly well stop it. it's hurting a lot and i hope i can stop thinking about what you all say. but i cant. so please shut up.

2007-10-25T12:42:00.000+08:00

and now i know, that there are people out there who still cares. thanks for that three words, though i didnt reply.

on another note, i hope people will stop asking me "so how? u be captain arh?" i have no answers. and i hope that's not all that you all care about. we may look strong on the outside. but deep inside, we are still hurt, sometimes not knowing what to do in the future, what to expect. but thanks geevee, for reminding me that all these was all in GOD's plan and every step, He has HIs reason.

i hope tomorrow wouldn't be the last time we will be having dinner together. i know it wouldn't.

2007-10-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

a wrong decision was made yet again. i hope everyone is alright. i dont wanna answer any questions of anything. so dont ask.

i hope friday will never come. it may be the last day it seems but we will always be one. work hard boy, for next year. no more regrets k? we'll always be behind you, supporting you in whatever decisions you make. i hope thursday will never end. really looking forward to our dinner. i hope there will be no tears on both thursday and friday. i'll have to control myself. dont worry, i'll stay strong. really. the memories will always be there, all the things we have went through. there is still more to come. i'm sure. anything remember to find us k? we are always there, just one call, one message away.

it's coming to the end of the year. i hope ms lai dont say anything that will make me cry on friday, as well as mr tan. i don't wan2 cry on that day. no tears are to roll down wanyee. 3 more days to the most dreadful day of the year.

all my fellow friends will be missed.

2007-10-21T18:06:00.000+08:00

while on msn the other day, i suddenly woke up and the fact finally sink in. i always thought i accepted it even before it was told. until that time, i finally feel the seriousness of it all. i wonder how will life be in the future. without him around.

anyway, thanks to all those who cared. i really appreciated it. i'll be alright k? dont worry about me.

to all those who said that i was happy since i got sole power, i'm disappointed that you all actually say that. by the way, thanks for showing that you all only think that i want power, and i'm gonna prove that point wrong. and try being in my position.

that felt great. it's gonna be tough for me next year, especially the first 2 months. but i know God will bring me through.

anw, my bro just flew to aussie this afternoon. and my mum gonna fly to beijing tmr. so it's me and my dad. and most prob my dad's gonna fly to shanghai this month so i'll be left alone.sian-ed.

a big sigh of relief

2007-10-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

promos was long gone, open house ended 3 days ago. but that's a lot more things to look forward to next year.

Orientation 1, Orientation 2, Road Race(maybe), DANCE CONCERT!!!, colloseum(maybe), BLOCK TESTS!(why am i even thinking of that?)and the list goes on...

open hse was damn freaking tiring. imagine dancing under that bloody hot sun with a super freaking thin shoes and having your bloody nose running like mad. and trying to rally ppl but only some cared. even liangting said i looked sick on stage. haha. i really was!but overall it was a good experience. i'm sure we'll improve!right hse comm?

haha...anw ppl, sign up for OGL! i'm sure you all will like the experience!

A Teacher's tear (cont)

2007-09-15T17:08:00.001+08:00

got a several posts from my classmates

FARAH'S BLOG
how would you feel to see someone cry?how would you feel to see someone cry because of you?how would you feel when you see someone cry because of disappointment?how would you feel to see a man crying because of your class?how would you feel when you hear all sorts of comments from the teachers saying your class is a gone case?now, my friends, it is time to prove those teachers wrong. and show mr tan that we are capable of doing better.today is an emo day.a reality check for me and (most of)my classmates.tears wouldn't make a difference if no results would be produced at the end of the day.yes, i feel so guilty to see him break down.

JACK'S BLOG
Something happened abruptly last Thursday.Something which no one expected to happen.Something which is totally unpredictable.A Male Teacher Wept.All this while he worried most for the 27 students of 07S208, but his care towards his students went unappreciated. Students still led life like nothing else in the world mattered, when in reality, their failures during the Promos examination may cost them their bright future. He worries,He bought cookies and chocolate bars for the "improving" students,but yet he could not keep his grief. Tears fell. Yet some people took it upon as a joke. Saddening.What vile creatures are we to make a teacher, a Male Teacher to tear? Remarks made to the class have been poor. This indirectly highlights how effective the CT is. The class had been also highlighted as "The Class with Potential", but what is the reasons for such poor grades? Time management? Stress? Laziness?

WE WILL DO IT. I'M SURE!

stree management

2007-09-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

it's been super long since i blogged. anyway, today had this talk on stress management, then had a super sumplified DISC test. and obviously i'm high I...HAHA...and ya, it was about stress.

was reading through my previous posts.i still cant forget that few weeks that i was so stressed up. but oh well, it's all over. just pray that i'll cont to stay like what i am now. not trying to meet other people's expectations, but to really think that it's a chance that i shouldn't neglect. and just do my best for the coming promos. no matter what results i get, it's up to God . at least i know that i did my best.

and i realize mdm tan is not so bad after all. even if she scolded me like crazy, she's a good teacher and also a caring one. i mean, which relief teacher would ever give you extra lessons? though it means to go back to school on the 2 study leave days, but at least this shows that she cares. and it was her scolding that woke me up.

on another note, i think i'm going crazy. i actually dreamt of ECONS last night. like wth. dreaming of maths is already bad enough. but econs? it's so so so much more worse. so irritating. maybe i should plan what to dream about so i can study in my sleep as well. haha...LAME.

anyway, I'M GOING BACK HONGKONG!!!!!!!!so excited!!!14 more days!!!AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

a teacher's tear

2007-08-30T21:36:00.000+08:00

first time i see a teacher cry. a male teacher. he cares. he really cares. and we know he do.

we will work hard. for him. for other teachers. for our parents. but more importantly, for ourselves. show people that we can do it. show people that we can. we really can. 07S208. we can do it. have faith in yourselves. we'll help each other. i know he has faith in us.

anyway, tomorrow is the big day. and i am so not gonna make any mistakes. and make sure my cam works. and i'm going back TKGS!

you say GOD SAYS

2007-08-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

You Say God Says

It's impossible All things are possible Luke 18:27
I'm too tired I will give you rest Matthew 11:28-30
Nobody really loves me I love you john 3:16
I can't go on My grace is sufficient 2 Corinthians 1:9
I can't figure things out I will direct your steps Proverbs 3:5-6
I can't do it You can do all things Philippians 4:13
I'm not able I am able 2 Corinthians 9:8
It's not worth it It will be worth it Romans 8:28
I can't forgive myself I forgive you 1 John 1:9 & Romans 8:1
I can't manage I will supply all your needs Philippians 4:19
I'm afraid I have not given you a spirit of fear 2 Timothy 1:7
I'm always worried and frustrated Cast all your cares on ME 1 Peter 5:7
I don't have enough faith I've given everyone a measure of faith Romans 12:3
I'm not smart enough I give you wisdom 1 Corinthians 1:30
I feel all alone I will never leave you or forsake you Hebrews 13:5

thx wei en for sending this to me! was really encouraging!

容祖儿-小小

2007-08-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

作词:方文山作曲:周杰伦编曲:林迈可

#回忆像个说书的人
用充满乡音的口吻
跳过水坑绕过小村
等相遇的缘分
你用泥巴捏一座城
说将来要娶我进门
转多少身过几次门虚掷青春#

小小的誓言还不稳
小小的泪水还在撑
稚嫩的唇在说离分

*我的心里从此住了一个人
曾经模样小小的我们
那年你搬小小的板凳
为戏入迷我也一路跟

我在找那个故事里的人
你是不能缺少的部份
你在树下小小的打盹
小小的我傻傻等*
重复#

小小的感动雨纷纷
小小的别扭惹人疼
小小的人还不会吻

重复*

我的心里从此住了一个人
曾经模样小小的我们
当初学人说爱念剧本
缺牙的你发音却不准

我在找那个故事里的人
你是不能缺少的部份
小小的手牵小小的人
守著小小的永恒

over!

2007-08-19T11:36:00.000+08:00

at last it's over! well done Miranda! thanks all those who went down for the games!

anw...this FunFestique period was really a good time to get to know other house comm members and share our problems with each other and you slowly realize all houses have the same problem.haha.

my temper this week wasn't very good but thank God that my friends understand. thanks guys for tolerating with my horrible behaviour.there are just too many things happening. personal things, house things, tests, scoldings and lots more.

today was leaders workshop. gotta gather with Ahmad again! love them loads. and was reflecting through this 2 months in office. and suddenly the teacher touched on the times where you felt powerless and powerful. and got reminded by the scolding i had on mon. cant stand it. i know i shouldn't think of it anymore but i nvr got scolded by a teacher till that extent before?

then was quite stressed up coz the workshop supposed to end at 11 so planned for aces training to start at 12 but apparently it ended only at 12 so we didn't eat lunch until 4. thank God that the house comm was really supportive today. good that they sense the seriousness of our FIRST PUBLIC PERFORMANCE. go house comm!!!you can do it! rock on!

many things to complete this weekend and i dont think i'll be able to finish it. but oh well, shall study for chem SPA first since it's a national exam.

ps. i'm NOT smart.

untitled

2007-08-14T14:13:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna hide anymore. joking, laughing with friends. everyone just think that i'm a super cheerful girl, nothing is wrong, studies no problem and whatever rubbish. but right now, my studies are suffering so so much and i don't know where to start. i don't wanna act like i love school and everything anymore. i don't wanna laugh my way through school when i know that tears can roll down anytime soon.

anyway, thanks to all those who comforted me today. there are some things that i cant tell but really thanks for being there.

on another note, i think i should drop h3 maths. though i hate the feeling of scrificing what i love for my future. comments please.

long gone...

2007-08-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

it's been a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time....haha...
ok...let's see...
busy with piano exam funfestique aces and trying my best to study
piano exam down funfestique down soon aces still got 2 plus wks and study hmmm...non stop....

anw....supposedly ahmad outing but ended up left with 4 ppl dinner and 5 ppl pool before that....but it was still fun...ahmad brings me joy...haha...miss the ltc times super a lot....hai...time flies...ltc was like 2 plus months ago....but at least we still stay in contact...hhaa....

piano exam was screwed

cant wait for funfestique...and it to be over...camera camera camera!!!!

aces means i can dance!!!!but i dont enjoy going dance...

study means promos i s coming dunno how long more but very fast it'll be over

anw...bought a BIG candy(joey's new album)...thanks mum!!!

bro is going australia in december

hmmm nothing much lah....i'll try to blog more often

ps...i cant upload photos!!!!
pss...i'm worried about a lot of things/people

stressed

2007-07-22T12:45:00.000+08:00

1. tutorials not finished/done
2. people in H3 maths are so smart
3. house comm collation for FunFestique not completed
4. have to practise piano everyday
5. problems in school

how i wish i'm back in secondary sch. even teachers say jc no life.and we're supposed to start studying for promos NOW. like wth. i nvr recall myself studying so early even for prelims. thank GOD for house comm. though lots of extra work but the people brighten up my day! somehow, other people would nvr understand the hardwork that house comm put in. oh well, that sentence was quite random.

on another note, sometimes i just cant get myself to do QT. maybe i'm to tired or maybe i just hate reading. but all these are just excuses. GOD help me. help me to grow in YOU. my life is not mine. YOU gave it to me.

changes...too quick

2007-07-18T21:16:00.000+08:00

people change. but this one, too fast. just one day. a total different person. where did you go? i don't understand. your smile, your jokes, it's not there anymore. i'm worried. sometimes not even a hi when we meet.

it's been a crazy 3 days. it's just too quick. the things i heard. i just hope that it's not true at all. maybe i know too much. maybe i should stop listening. but i'm seriously worried. friendships are breaking fast. and i don't know how can i help. thinking about what i've heard. it's painful to believe it's true. why? no one can answer that. only you.

-all of us just wants to see the old you again-

i'm happy!!!

2007-07-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

yes...i'm happy...haha...

firstly, i did above my expectations for like practically all my subjects.
secondly, i qualify for H3 maths.
thirdly, i really thank God coz never ever expect myself to do well.

BUT...stress is piling up.millions of undone tutorials.FunFestique signing up starting.Aces day dance.piano exam.and who knows what else?

oh well...but with God, i'm sure i can pull through, though it will be challenging. i'll try my best to depend on Him more and more, day by day.

Apprehending God

2007-07-04T13:26:00.000+08:00

" Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 32:8

it's been long since i last did my QT and when i did it, it really shot me.
i know that God exists but so what? do i really think that he's reality? or just another person?

my faith in God has slowly disappeared...God has not been my top priority for this half a year and it has come to a point where i just feel that i'm like a non-christian and God isn't in me anymore...but i know God is always there...it's just a matter of whether I want to be there or not...how i wish i don't have to go to sch on thurs again and i have hols for the rest of my life and strengthen my walk with God...but i know it'll never happen.

the times ahead is gonna be really tough... with house comm and dance...but God has given me another hurdle to cross another hurdle to test my faith...i'll soon have lots of conflicts with parents about going home late and a lot of other stuff...plus the horrible mid yr results that i predict i'll get...studies will gonna be crazy and a lot more others...but i'm studying for God and God gave me a chance to study so i'm gonna do my best...

some thing to think about...Am i a student that happens to be a christian or a christian that happens to be a student?

my prayer:
Lord, help me to draw closer to You Lord, even in the midst of busy school work and that i may lay hold on eternal things not temporal things. Enable me to taste You and know that You are good.Make heaven more real to me than earthly thing has ever been. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.

i'm back!!!

2007-06-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

HIBLOG!!!!it's been long since i last blogged...was studying and just plain laziness to blog...hai...midyrs was flunked...i mean chem was like total rubbish...i bet no one's gonna pass...econs was alright but i did wrongly for one qn so equals to die as well...maths was like the easiest but still...got parts cun do...physics...walau....my most confident topic and i dint know how to do...why kinematics so difficult???wth...chinese was...oh well...like tt lorh...

went to white sands, marina square and suntec today with ph, sj and cher...but cher went home after white sands...bind was supposed to come but she had to do something...choy was also supposed to come but she cun pack finish her scores...poor librarian of band...my class went to watch transformers at tm...dint go with them..shall blog again another time...so tired..

camps camps camps!!!

2007-06-09T17:11:00.000+08:00

yay!!!i survived 2 camps in a row...haha...and both camps was fun....

LTC...

Ahmad!!!we rock sia...best group somemore....ms lee was like telling us that everytime we make noise the teachers will be like 'your ahmad ah'...haha...at least we never fail to not get hyper...i really hope we can stay in contact ya....wanyee loves ahmad....

the ahmadies
yi ping, JJ, kangli, audrey, michelle, jiaying, lizzie and ME!!!
kevan, daniel, sherman, joel, liang ting, jonathan

the cheer
ahmad the mama fandi fandi ahmad
ahmad the soccer star soccer soccer star star
*some rhythm*
we are the ahmadies
ahmad ahmad ahmadies
ahmad ahmad kick the(ir) ball
we will confirm win you all
ahmad ah ah ahmad
ahmad ah ah ahmad
ahmad ah ah ahmad
ahmadies...RAH!!!

many funny things happen and did lotsa stupid stuff...oh and our most wonderful debrief

debrief start
what did we learn today?
no.1 model the way
no.2 inspire a shared vision
no.3 challenge the process
no.4 enable others to act
no.5 encourage the heart
debrief end

such a stupid debrief...and something else
raise up your right hand, put it on your left chest 1,2,3*start singing the pledge*

and lots of other stuff...have some ahmad photos but maybe next time ya...so ahmad...wait patiently...

dance camp...

was really tired on the first day coz it was straight after LTC...then skipped the first hip hop session coz of hse comm induction..talking about tt... the 5th hse comm is really super noisy...ms yeow says we need to learn to act more mature...anw...then had lunch and hip hop...it was alright lah...not my fave though...then had torture chamber...disgusting but fun..then was to choreo group dance...the most stupid dance i've ever choreo and dances...but also the funnest...very long nvr laugh so much while dancing le...then at night was movie"you got served"...and i slept throughout the whole movie!!!how great...not tt it was boring but just tt i was too tired to stay awake...argh...missed a super good movie just like tt....

2nd day...woke up at 6.30 and was super hungry...but still hafta run 2.4 before eating breakfast...which led to stitch after just 1 round...wth...so irritating lah...ask me how to run...anw...after tt had jazz!!!!! anne rocks my life man...i wanna go Oschool and learn jazz...lois and wanting...after promos hor....then had farewell at night...seniors cried again...and it's always the same few...ya...photos nx time k...i promise...

things to be done

2007-05-30T20:47:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!!!
not that it'll make much difference to my life...welll..time to plan my time super well with one of the busiest holidays...

THINGS GOING ON...

LTC (1st to 4th)
dance camp(5th to 6th)
church camp(13th to 16th)
movie marathon(23rd)

THINGS I WANT TO DO(OTHER THAN STUDIES)...

rebond my hair
go back TKG (a must lah..to get my cert)
go for consultation for whatever subjects
go vivocity

TOPICS TO SUMMARISE...

mathematics

partial fractions
trigonometry
mathematical indauction
functions
graphing techniques
binomial theorem
AP
GP

physics

measurements
thermal physics
kinematics
forces and dynamics
work energy power

chemistry

stoichiometry
redox
atomic structure
chemical kinetics
gases
chemical bonding

economics

supply and demand
externalities

REVISION PACKAGES TO DO...

mathematics paper
physics(5 topics)
chemistry(6 topics)
economics(memorise the answers)
chinese(yan yu)

i hope that's all...so many...oh ya...one more thing...PRACTISE PIANO EVERYDAY FOR AT LEAST 1 HOUR(IF I'M AT HOME)

one year

2007-05-27T12:01:00.000+08:00

it's been one year...one year since my operation...one year since i first got hospitalized...it's fast how one year has passed just like that...how God brought me through this one year without much complications...i really thank Him for all that he has given...my family my friends everyone who's around me...i'll love them for what they've done for me...what they'll do for me...and i'll do my best to be a good friend good daughter and good sister...the 2 years ahead is gonna be tough...with my term in house comm and also PW and tons of work...there'll always be people around to support me. help me through...as did they one year ago...i love you guys...

...

2007-05-10T12:23:00.000+08:00

i WILL do my best...

hse comm

2007-05-09T12:18:00.000+08:00

VICE CAP VICE CAP VICE CAP!!!!

cheerleading + house comm

2007-05-06T08:51:00.000+08:00

went for cheerleading workshop just now....really fun...but came back got scolded by my mum coz it was last min. i wish i dont get into hse comm...not that i dun want to but the fact that my mum dont want me to...and cheerleading practs will be until damn late for the nx few wks so she's gonna say i dont have enough time to study prac piano blah blah blah...does this mean i have to give up doing the things i love just for her? it will make my life so much more simpler...no scolding whatsoever...

after she scolded i cried...but i read this quote "my unknown future is safe un the hands of my all-knowing God"
God will determine my future whether i get in or not...i'll trust in Him always...

colours

2007-05-04T11:38:00.000+08:00

colours.nvr fail to brighten up my day. nvr fail to brighten up my notes. nvr fail to kill boredom during lectures and tutorials. i can nvr lose them. if not i can nvr study. i can nvr conc in reading my notes. thank God for making this world colourful.

dance celebration!!!

2007-05-02T09:32:00.000+08:00

me and yanhong
me and hazel
samantha and me
me and rachelle
me and faridah

galvin and me
me and huiying
me and hanisah
me and joy
me and shikin

別說愛我--容祖兒

2007-05-02T08:55:00.000+08:00

作曲：Michael Lin (林邁可) 填詞：鄔裕康編曲：Michael Lin (林邁可)

我並沒有　那翅膀
只有瘦瘦　的肩膀
它最多把淚　擦乾　關上　門窗
天空那麼高　我怎麼搆的到

你曾形容　的天堂
門牌卻是　個問號
我邊想邊睡　不著　也找　不到
你知道快樂　對我有多重要

別說愛我(別再說你愛我)別說想我
因為耳朵是通往心　底的　
那些不會成真的　聽了心痛　

別說愛我(別再說你愛我)你沒愛過　
世上真話不夠夢境　太多　
如果你是善良的　你會放開手讓我　經過

我並沒有　離開過
卻不停的　看你走
勉強握緊的　永久　維持不了多久
我不要一個　沒靈魂的感動

我的驕傲--容祖兒

2007-05-02T08:50:00.000+08:00

Pride in your eyes 為我改寫下半生
眉目裡找到我失去的自信心
才明白被愛的能活得這樣勇敢
榮幸眼神能替我雲上旅行來點燈

* See me fly I'm proud to fly up high
不因氣壓搖擺只因有你擁戴
Believe me I can fly I'm singing in the sky
假使我算神話因你創更愉快 *

Pride in your eyes 為我閃爍像最初
唯獨你欣賞我比我更多
埋頭做願你可能為我驕傲更多
無論有誰嫌棄我投入卻無人可阻

Repeat *

我盼有一天將你抱入懷
昂然地對著宇宙說是藉著你的風

Let me fly I'm proud to fly up high
不因氣壓搖擺只因有你擁戴
Believe me I can fly I'm singing in the sky
假使愛有奇跡跟你創最愉快

我覺得光榮因有你擁戴

SYF

2007-04-29T19:33:00.000+08:00

it's over. mixed feelings. happy. sad. seniors stepping down. no more guy as funny as galvin. no more girls who can suan tcher so well. no more blowing of whistles. no more talks about guys. no more dancing with seniors.

its just the beginning. that's what the seniors say. i just hope this won't come to an end. no matter how much time dance has taken. i'll really miss them. i've never felt so close to dance before. i've never liked dance. but not now. i love dance. a part of me is telling me to withdraw from house comm. but i'm not doing that.

i'm really dreading tomorrow. council nominees are dreading it coz results are coming out. i'm dreading it coz it might well be the last time we juniors and seniors gather together. tears will stream down people's face. i don't want this to happen.

all the effort we've put in for the four plus months did not come to a waste. a really painful experience. physically. emotionally. mentally. but a really memorable one. i'll remember SYF forever. the time we spent dancing. the time we spent dreading dance. the time we spent listening to tchers saying how lousy we are. the time when we were threatened to get out of the competition just a week before. we managed to clinch a gold. and it was worth a gold. especially when something cropped up in the morning of the competition. we worked hard. and we deserve it.

i want to go back to dance now. 4 days without dance. it feels weird. i look forward to school because of my dancers. a thing that will never happen in secondary school.

shall do my PI now. bye.

滾--楊千嬅+梁漢文

2007-04-29T19:25:00.000+08:00

作曲：雷頌德｜填詞：林夕｜編曲：雷頌德｜監製：雷頌德
女：你控訴我　接吻接上癮
密密外遇　令你很痛恨
你呷醋呷上癮　膽敢去諷刺我　不愧是女人
男：平時和人　如何尋開心　　
捏著浴巾　去擁抱別人
苦苦的啞忍　離開妳
合：沒要緊

女：你作個證據　再對我教訓
男：和他搞公司　是你蝦我笨
女：我放棄奮鬥　你至安心
男：跟他幾點鐘　方有著快感
女：堂堂男人　別太過份
男：如何纏他　我當顧問
女：何必於一起　沒半點信任
男：三天不見了　談何被信任

＊女：睡就睡　男：妳作對　
女：你喝醉　男：請不必屈我喝醉　
女：梳化都給你割碎　男：全都因妳衰＊
＃女：睡就睡　男：妳說對　
女：你撤退　男：跟他好一對愛侶　我走開妳沒負累　
女：請你滾　滾出去　
男：妳愛滾　不配做人　爬出去　
合：鬼上身　趕不退　
男：我有信心　不怕行雷　
合：看心虛會是誰　
女：你去　　男：認罪　
合：然後看死你落淚＃　

女：從未了解你　　　男：我偏再縱寵妳　
女：我也太縱你　　　男：妳當我已死　
女：別日夜在妒忌　　男：假得妳　
女：我也有吻過你　　男：是為著好奇　
合：天都知　你與我　誰人有理　
男：天天想妳　　　　女：才叫你妒忌　
男：彼此躲避　　　　女：自卑的你　日嘈夜嘈　調情亦無味　
男：終於嘲笑我　我愛妳不起

REPEAT＊＃

男：和人愛吧抱吧吻吧叫吧去吧舞吧　還是算吧
女：酸吧苦吧哭吧飲吧湯吧癲吧　別要醒吧
男：早已輸了不怕不怕不怕不怕　　隨便對他笑我如何小家　
合：咒吧
女：你不化　男：憎妳　憎我　惹起對罵
女：講真　因你極小家合：你使我羞家　羞家　真羞家

REPEAT＃

女：再見　男：不見
合：誰又有空再受罪
女：再見　男：分居
合：無謂吻傷我味蕾

愛一個上一課--容祖兒

2007-04-29T19:22:00.000+08:00

作曲：藍奕邦
填詞：林夕
編曲：Jim Ling@Zoo Music
監製：舒文@Zoo Music & JY
像有感情　到天星　看風景
他似無還有偏卻　不承認
為了此人　算初戀　太高興
失去承受更悲傷的本領
然後遇著　我至今的經典
曾緊張得似應戰　一晚渡無限風險
然後漸漸　沉重到　不願見
人會變　情會厭　從沒甚麼保險

＊誰擔保可不可　有一個愛一個　
為何我不可　值得好點結果　
即使悔恨又如何　別離得多不痛楚　
其實帶淚都該慶賀　失戀不怕多　
多得天的許可　愛一個上多一課　
自由也不錯　被吹熄的愛火　
光影總算照亮過　想開心如何懶惰　
無謂算盡機關只要情動　也不敢錯過＊

逃避寂寞　期待吃喝玩樂
談得多戀愛更覺　不領會何謂快樂
誰是玩伴　誰是愛的幻覺誰與我　
能永遠　留在夢中天國

Repeat ＊

some people

2007-04-20T21:57:00.000+08:00

seriously...since some person is b*tching bout some person, i shall stand here and defend that person.

just because she dint let you go somewhere doesn't mean she suck doesn't mean she's unreasonable and everything. and if i was the tic i wouldn't have let u leave either. and mind u she let me leave early because my dad was hospitalised. this should tell u tt she's reasonable.

anw...i seriously think that ur heart is NOT with us. it's with that other place. NOT us. AND, us missed 2 of the best seesions BECAUSE u went to THAT place. that session was even better than today's. and u actually use ur MC so that u can go that place. so much for being a part of us.

and since u missed 2 of the best sessions, u wouldn't know the really really big difference in our then and on wed. and i'm just telling u that we really deserve the scolding. and though she might not be a pro...at least she danced before, i mean u are not the only one in the world that dances...and she's just disappointed at us for dropping so much....but at least we came back to our usual self and so she dint scold us.

and i tell u,if you really want a gold please at lesat show me that u like to be in the team and not in another place.

dance...

2007-04-14T19:25:00.001+08:00

today was one of the first dance pracs....no screams from instructors....we move on really really quickly and got praised by mr zaki at the beginning...

1 half more wks to SYF and i really can feel that we are all putting our whole in it...though training is 5 times a week but we know we can do it and dance our best for this last stretch...

the school built the studio for us, gave us super experienced instructors so we WILL do our best...no matter what we get so long as we do our best...

anw...i really think the school should have performing arts scholarship....i mean...today when i went to sch...all the performing arts group were there...band choir guitar co dance....we really should get more recognition....we train like 5 times a wk just for SYF, sacrifice so much of our time and getting injured and everything...

anw...all the best to tkg chinese dance and mj guitar for syf!!!

YAY!!!

2007-04-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

I FINISHED MY FIRST DRAFT FOR PI!!!!
was sitting in front of the laptop for the whole afternoon and night doing PI...and my butt hurts now...so happy i finished...but still got a long long way to go...oh well...at least i ifinished...and i'm not emo today!!!like whatever lah....and mr zaki reads blogs...so cool...

anw...had dance in the morn...the UCC stage was marked out and it's like super big...so did lots of brush ups and spacings...and i'm not in the first song...oh well...family is still more impt...not as if if i was there i'll definitely be blocked...anw...both my knees have super bad bruices and my butt is hurting...firstly coz of dance then sitting down for the whole day....oh well...nothing much lah...not gonna emo today...btw...feed my horse k...