i know i haven't blogged for ages coz mainly of the use of twitter. but there are some things that really cant be expressed in 140 characters.

school has started and work's beginning to pile even before i manage to settle down in school. not because i'm still in the play mood but because there's really too much changes to uni life. lessons are often unpredictable, i have to do almost 9 readings a week, no more numbers and calculations to look at, few familiar faces, wierd accents, wierd hall people, the clubbing and staying till late culture and the list goes on.

piano exam was on friday which was totally screwed. and everytime ppl ask me how is it i try to smile and say 'it's ok, i still have nx yr!' maybe tt's nature, tt's me. not liking ppl to worry about me, not liking to hear ppl say 'dont cry lah, confirm pass one!'

so after piano exam, i thought i would be able to finally settle down in school and feel less of a burden, there's individual presentation coming tues which i have nothing to write/talk abt till now. it's so stressful to be the first to present, not knowing what to say, what the reading is about, whether the projector works, how to present. all i can to is walk by faith, have confidence in God. i always try to tell myself 'don't worry! it's only 5%!' but the thought tt it's counted in final term just freaks me out.

many uncertainties still lies ahead, and i always ask God 'why not you just send me to china, spread the gospel, do sth more meaningful than reading stuff tt i dont understand, not particularly interested in?' i gotta say i still dont have any answers, i have no idea what i'm doing now, in the future. i always have this thought of changing my course, going back HK to at least do sth i'm interested in.

i wish that i can go on stage again, not because of the recognition and applause and praises and flowers i get, but because tt's what i enjoy most and tt's my dream. everytime i see joey yung, i'll always hope tt i was able to do all those. and how i can share my testimony, definitely including songs like I CAN TRUST YOU and dai ling wo. one day i'll have my own album, choreo my own dance for my song, particularly contemp where most youths aren't liking anymore. and then i can use this to go into china, base there, and spend the rest of my life serving God in china. but i know some dreams will nvr come true. and i have better things to do.

writing all these down made me feel much better. alone in the hostel room, i thought i'll cry like mad, thinking of what to do for the presentation, cracking my brains not coming out with anything, and lastly i'll end up watching video and playing games. now i'm in a calm state to focus on my presentation. pray tt i'll really come out with something.

now, there's still a use in blogging. i dont know when i'll be back here again, or anyone will read this since this blog is dead for ages and this is such a long post. but i still love you, blog!